I pray that this does not turn out sounding like a self-edifying post as that is not my intent at all. My intent is to express my doubts and fears and how stepping out of my comfort zone is so hard to do but so worth it sometimes!
Last night around 10:30 Dakota called me and asked me if I had heard the news about Lil Bit (*not her real name.) Lil Bit is a fellow 11-yr-old in the youth dept with Dakota. They are close. She is a precious girl. Dakota says he loves her like a sister because she is so sweet.
I love Jimmy & Elaine - her parents. This is me & Elaine at a Christmas party last year. Jimmy is behind us in the orange shirt.
Because Dakota is at Youth Camp with our youth pastor, Jesse, he heard the news when Jesse received a phone call from Lil Bit's older brother. Jesse called all the kids together and had them pray for Lil Bit first and then allowed them to call their parents. Dakota told me that Lil Bit was in the bathtub and had a seizure and Jimmy & Elaine had called an ambulance to come pick her up. Dakota knows that I send out the email prayer requests and update info to all the church members so he asked me if I would send out an email to everybody to start praying for Lil Bit. I assured him I would and before I knew what I was saying I told him I would go up to the hospital too to check on her.
Dakota was very pleased to hear that. He wanted me to call him back as soon as I found out anything. When I got off the phone with him I called Elaine's cell phone to get more details before sending out a church-wide email. Their oldest son answered and told me they had just gotten to the ER and he had left a voicemail on our pastor's phone and he had talked to Jesse but other than that he hadn't talked to anybody else.
When I sat down at the computer to begin typing out the email prayer request and contemplating my next move the doubts started creeping in.
Why did I tell Dakota I would go to the hospital? That was a stupid thing to say!
Why was I going to the hospital at this time of night?
It's a 30 minute drive up there?
They only allow 2 people back there at a time and there's 3 family members up there already.
The pastor will get the voicemail and he will show up and I'll just be in the way.
Then the "self-arguments" started....
I'm going to the hospital because they are my friends and they are military and don't have any family here...we ARE their family!
It's late at night - I can be there in 20 mins!
That 2 people rule is just a guideline - we always get away with having more people back there than that. Plus if somebody has to wait in the waiting room I can keep them company.
What if the pastor is already in bed and doesn't get the voicemail and doesn't even know this is happening? What if nobody shows up? How would I feel if my child were laying up there and I was alone.
Besides I told Dakota I was going and he is waiting to hear how Lil Bit is doing...so get dressed and get going!
As I was on my way up there another friend text messaged me after getting my email and I called her and told her I was on my way up to the hospital. She said she would go with me so I swung by and picked her up along the way.
The moment we walked into the ER room and Elaine saw us she burst into tears...of worry for her child and of gratitude that we were there to share that commonality of motherhood that only moms can understand when their babies are laying on a bed in the ER not knowing what's wrong or what to expect next.
We were all there until 2:30 this morning while Lil Bit had different tests run and the doctor tried to figure out what caused her seizure. She had been running a fever yesterday and had thrown up one time so Elaine had given her a phenergan (she had been prescribed that once before) - all her tests were normal except for an elevated WBC so for now the doctor thinks it was just an adverse reaction to the phenergan and he sent her home with strict instructions to monitor her closely the next 48-72 hours, waking her up every few hours making sure she is coherent and alert.
By the time I woke up around 10:00 this morning I had already received 2 heartfelt emails from Elaine expressing gratitude for going up there to be with them last night. I'm so grateful that my self-doubt didn't win out in this situation and I was able to make a difference in a friend's life by being there for her when she needed a friend. I praise God that Lil Bit is feeling better today! I praise God that I have a sensitive son who loves and cares for others so much and he understands the importance of prayer!!